Trends with Loose Ends

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About: I'm currently an aspiring Fashion Merchandising Major at Marist College. I love all things retro, vintage, modern, and fun. All people are interesting and I wish I could ask everyone questions about their theory on life and living. I like to think that laughing really does keep you alive that much longer so I tend to laugh way too much at funny and un-funny things just because its in my nature. Precision, drive and confidence are all you need in life to accomplish your dreams and goals. Making something only happens if you choose to make it happen, take risks and believe in what you're passionate about.
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(Source: trendswithlooseends)

this is how i feel. and how i will for the next month before school is finish. sometimes i wonder what im doing. why im here and what im fighting for. chasing after a dream is getting exhausting. sometimes the bad over powers the good to the point where it seems like nothing will ever get better. why cant things just get better. why cant i get a break. when will i get a break from all this madness. when will someone recognize that my craziness is sometimes a cry for help? Sometimes i need someone just to be there but when i need them they dont understand why. sometimes my smile covers up my tears because people dont understand me and never will. and i dont understand why not but everyones different. as i sit here stressing about a test, quiz and paper due tomorrow im seemingly calm. todays craziness has done nothing to help myself feel better and prolly wont for another month. and then what? i go home to come back to chase after my dream in the city. is it worth it? will i accomplish the goals and hope ive wishing for? how will i know when ive reached that place? when will i finally be happy with all this? i just wish i could fastforward to that place…but then ill miss out on all the problems, dumb decisions, good decisions, let downs, excitement, memories, lessons, and people. but sometimes i want to miss out on that so i can be happy. i wish so many things for myself, for others, for my mom, my brothers, my stepdad…. but for what reason?…an answer. and when i get that answer will it change how i feel? will it make things better finally? time. and even it will give me answers eventually i wish i could get them now. time can hurt people, it can help people or it can simply mean nothing. sometimes i wish time meant nothing, so i could bask in state of nothing, not worry about my future, the health of people, or anything. i know i shouldnt wish away time but its points in my life like this when i wish i could. it would just make everything better, and easier. but complaining wont do anything for myself and i know that. i just wish someone would listen and tell me what to do, but no one can make decisions for me, thats something i have to do and i understand that but sometimes i dont want to accept it. sometimes i wish everything away to someone else who knew the answers and had the time that i dont. im sure they could figure it out better then myself. i just dont want to fail. it scares me.